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Written by S. Jones
“I swear to the Lord, I still can't see, why Democracy means, everybody but me.” Langston Hughes During the recent weeks, I have watched and listened earnestly as new evidence unfolds in the Trayvon Martin case. I have also witnessed the black community rise up, put on its armor as if entreated to war. A travesty indeed, a young man being slain and being taken from the world far too soon. However, those of you with a religious or spiritual background, whichever word you prefer, know that God does not make any mistakes. Our brother is no longer but there is something to be said, a message to the world that we indeed need to hear, behind this incident. An angel was returned. A few months ago just four hours north of the site of Trayvon’s death; another young man by the name of Robert Champion was killed. Champion, a 26-year-old drum major at Florida A&M was said to have died due to complications from an alleged hazing incident. There hasn’t been any marches, protests, Facebook events or demonstrations on Champion’s behalf. Champion as well, a victim of violence, innocent blood shed and in some cases “authority racism.” What then differentiates the two victims? Race. An individual of another race killed one victim and an individual (or perhaps several individuals) of the same race killed the other victim. There’s a popular song by the Williams’ Brothers that says “sweep around your own front door, before you try to sweep around mine.” I applaud the black community for stepping in and taking a stance against injustice. However, individuals of another creed may state that African-Americans are quick to take a stance when race is involved in a killing but no one says anything when they kill each other. Now, I am by no means excusing Zimmerman and the heinous crime he committed. Nor am I saying that race did not play a role, however, I am saying why are we not just as furious at the people responsible for the killing of Robert Champion. He was a young man, taken far too soon. He wasn’t causing trouble or bothering anyone. His killers were just black or minorities as well. Now, I am not making a case against hazing, fraternities or sororities; but I am making a case against blacks assessing all issues fairly. Follow me. Negativity and degradation in our community has become acceptable. It’s okay for us to kill each other, call each other “Ni**er” and call our females “B****es” but no one else better do it. Explicit colloquialisms and community racism has become socially accepted. We don’t correct each other because that would be too much like doing the right thing. We have become bold in standing our ground for wrong but we have become mute and silent when standing for righteousness. The same reason individuals with the most Twitter followers degrade women and lead examples of poor life styles is the same reason we don’t take a stance against one another. Affirmation. No one wants to rock the boat. We all want to be accepted in the community. We all want to be the crème de la crème of a willowing crop, unbeknownst to us. We dare not speak against the norms of wrongdoing in our own social circles and communities for we run the risk of becoming the elephant in the room. No one wants to be the elephant…that is unless everyone is an elephant. I understand that we as a minority, as a people have been fighting for equality for years. I understand we as a minority, as a people need to uplift each other because of the fear that uplift will not come from anyone else. I understand that we as a minority, as a people must ban together in times of tragedy. Trust me, I do. But what I do not understand is why we are biased in our battles. Why are we continuing to use suffrage as an excuse to war in certain instances, when we should use suffrage as a catapult to grow every day? Yes, there will always be individuals with more money, more power who don’t believe we can achieve and who do not believe we are equal…but these individuals aren’t always of another race…sometimes they look just like you and I. And sometimes, just maybe sometimes if it’s not too hard to believe, there are individuals who do not look like us who will help us. I’m not saying racism doesn’t exist. It is alive and well. It has been passed on and recreated into new waves and new forms. But my dear patrons, my brothers and my sisters, that does not mean accountability is unexcused. While eating lunch today, God began to speak to me. He showed me the relationship between the Trayvon Martin Case and the FAMU Case because He wants us to see while we are fighting for equality against others, there’s still fighting to be done for equality with one another. A man’s ways is a reflection of his heart. A man willing to kill is a man willing to kill…no matter what race he is. We can say that the individual(s) responsible for Champion’s death didn’t intend for him to die or didn’t intentionally kill him as Zimmerman did Martin but whatever the moral reasoning, the people responsible did mean to inflict harm. The consequence of that “playful harm”, that “usual harm”, that “routine harm”, was an innocent life. Martin is dead and so is Champion. This topic doesn’t bring about the war of physicality but the war of psychology. If you believe that one death is less important because of the back information, then imagine your loved one being in either…it would still hurt the same. Let’s continue marching and taking a stance for equality and against injustice…no matter the source.
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Written by Taikein Cooper
The birds are migrating north, we are experiencing thunderstorms and people are beginning to tan: Spring is here! As a native of Virginia, I appreciate experiencing all four seasons. I love blistering summer days, as well as winter wonderlands. This past winter was mild, but I am now looking forward to summer activities: overnight fishing expeditions, paddleboarding with dolphins, parasailing, and perhaps, picnics on the beach. Warm weather also means it is wedding season (honestly, I cannot say that I’ve ever attended a wedding in cold weather). Many people spend a significant amount of time contemplating what they should wear to a wedding. I mean, what’s better than stepping out in a seersucker suit and watching two friends exchange vows? However, almost everyone quickly wonders who will attend a wedding with them, after receiving the initial invite. It only seems appropriate that you carry someone to a wedding with you, right? Actually, carrying a date to a wedding is a big step. See, I’m one of the most logical people that I know. It’s very rare that I will say or do something strictly based on my emotions. I’m very calculated. Yes, that means that I’m not that spontaneous, but this is who I am, and I accept that. However, weddings are one of the few things that really put me in tune with my emotions, and I hate it. It’s just something about seeing two people confess their love for each other so much that they become one; it touches me. If any single person attends a wedding and states that they did not imagine themselves at the altar exchanging vows, they are lying! Here are my two reasons for preferring to go to weddings alone: 1.) If you carry a date to a wedding, that thought of “forever” will include your date. And that daydream, will settle into an expectation that your date will become your bride/groom. The problem is that weddings cloud our judgment; we cannot decide if our dreams are justified by the relationship with our date, or if they are dreams that we have for ourselves that we project on our dates simply because she/he is there at that time. 2.) As I mentioned earlier, weddings make us all put things in perspective. What I’m saying is, weddings are perfect places to get chosen! What’s a better beginning to a love story than saying that you met at a wedding? Weddings and wedding receptions, are the perfect place for meeting other single people. Wedding receptions are basically nice lounges: a venue with great music (who won't dance to Step in the Name of Love?), great food & drinks (it's even better if the bar is open), and easy conversation (“so how do you know the bride/groom?”). In short, the thirst is prevalent at weddings, and everyone should embrace it. Suave gentlemen will seize the moment by working the room. Smart ladies will hope to be pursued by quality men (hood dudes don’t go to real weddings), but they won’t expect it: high expectations foster letdowns. They will just put themselves in the best predicament to “win”. To be honest, weddings are one of few places where a woman won’t be judged if she makes the first move, #truestory. Anyway, I'm hitting my first wedding of 2012 this weekend, solo, and I’m content with that. Check twitter @tcoop32, for updates. Vince Jacobs had this to say about wedding dates: Weddings are huge events, not only for the bride and groom and their families, but also for the invited guests. My dad used to say; “As an adult, there are only two events where everybody you love and care about will attend, your wedding and funeral.” Your wedding is the event that you will be around to share with your loved ones and there lies a huge responsibility for this event. There is pressure everywhere, on the bride & groom, the family, and even the guests. As for the guests it is your job to provide love, support, while also genuinely enjoying the event. As a guest to such an event there is a tremendous amount of responsibility. A wedding is one of those “All the world’s a stage and the men and women merely players” kind of event. Everyone has a role. To dive into the idea of bringing a date-I am staunchly against it. When I say a date, I mean a casual dating partner as your guest. I am so steadfast against this, that at my wedding I won’t allow my groomsmen to bring dates that they are not married to. I have several reasons for this demand. The first is selfish: I don’t want them to have a date because there are groomsman duties that I want them to handle without being distracted. The rest of my reasons are what I feel wedding law should be. In my opinion, relationship statuses at weddings are no different than filing your taxes; you are single until you walk down the aisle. There is a culture at weddings that leads to a ton of interactions and radical emotional feelings. There is a danger in experiencing those emotional extremes with a casual dating partner. When those exaggerated feelings lead to you either scaring yourself out of your current situation, or give you a false perception of potential in your current situation; both would be wise to avoid. It’s actually safer to experience those feelings with a random person you meet there, where the worst thing that happens is you hook up with them that night and find out later down the road that it was the wedding environment that had you feeling them. Whereas when you’re with your casual partner or new girlfriend, the wedding atmosphere could be that thing that makes you think she’s “the one” you want to experience this with, just because she’s sitting beside you. My final reason is attending family/friend’s wedding is a life-long experience. You would rather those experiences be alone with your family and friends, than stuck under a random ex girlfriend. What do YOU think?
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Written by Taikein Cooper
I wrote this blog back in 2010. I decided to use it again with Valentine's Day approaching. Perhaps some of you will decide to use excerpts from this blog over the weekend with your significant other. Enjoy!
Dear Future Wife,
I apologize (saying "I'm sorry" is never appropriate) that it has taken me this long to compose this letter. See throughout college I prayed for someone like you, and I'm sure you did the same. I'm sure those "other guy(s)" seemed like "the one" at times, but it's not meant to be, simply because they aren't me. I know you've been searching and praying, and probably didn't realize that someone quite like me exists, but I'm here, even if we haven't met yet.
I'm sure you say that you are sick and tired of the lies and the games, but you continue to listen to the the foolishness that these typical fellas feed to you daily, simply because you're a pretty face with a decent future earning potential that's accessible. See, darling, I'm atypical: I aspire for mental intimacy. I know physical gratification lasts for a short time, but mental intimacy will carry us through the obstacles that life throws our way and even if our careers temporarily carry us thousands of miles apart, we will share two places together: my heart and yours.
I was once told that "everyone is a good catch at some point in their lives, and fate determines if you meet them at that time". I believe that. I've grown to learn that whatever one believes passionately, becomes their whole existence. See, I've learned self-discipline and self-respect, and those are the fundamental values of companionship. I'm worthy of being with you, and I believe you're worthy of being my queen. Just meet me half way, and we can make this happen.
I know fate will bring us together, somehow and someway, but I feel compelled to ask you two questions: would you commit to yourself if you was me? And are you an asset or liability? No one knows you, like you do: honestly, if we will make this power move in life, I need to know if you are worthy. See, the typical man, dates women like checkers: he thinks he has to jump on all women in his area, or he will get "blown off" the board. But, I'm a chess man: I am strategically choosing my future wife because I'm by no means desperate.
Darling, don't worry about me making a mistake, because I prayed for someone like you. My mother didn't name me, Taikein, without thinking about the semantics of king. See, she also prayed for me, which ultimately affects you. She knew that I would be a king, and by the laws of nature, you would be a queen. Now, I know, that at least two people prayed for you and I, dare I say us...let's seize the moment.
I honestly don't expect a response today, even though they are welcomed. This started off as a joke from twitter and I just began to write. I didn't edit, nor go back to make it politically correct. This is all me, straight up. My future wife, you should be thankful that I am writing this at this time, and not a year ago, or even six months ago. I can't say that I'm a complete man, because growing never ends. However, I'm striving to become a complete man, and you should appreciate the honesty. However, I must say, I am a man, amongst boys. Indeed, love is blind, but I will go in with my eyes open. Free thinkers, get your t-shirt, it's a movement!
